Whereas a lot of my mates are pledging to restrict their display screen time in 2023, I plan on upping mine, popcorn in hand, with extra episodes of Actual Housewives and Under Deck. Though I am not a fan of New 12 months’s resolutions by and huge, this yr, I plan to carve out extra time to feed my head extra mind sweet, aka completely senseless actuality exhibits which are most likely rotting my mind from the within out, however style so rattling good for an hour or two. It is all in an effort to show my thoughts fully and totally off by watching actuality TV to loosen up.
Actuality TV has by no means been my factor—for years now, I’ve sat in silence listening to mates recap the newest episodes of Vanderpump Guidelines and Summer season Home, questioning what the hell they have been speaking about. There was a brief stint in school once I obtained actually into The Bachelor, however even that could not maintain my consideration for greater than a season. For no matter purpose, Bravo TV tradition has particularly all the time icked me out—the infatuation and weekly dedication to screaming housewives and attractive botswains by no means resonated with me, and truthfully, simply drove me nuts. I am not one to yuck yums, however yuck. As my mom would say, “Do not you could have something higher to do along with your time?”
Not this yr, I do not. The change of coronary heart got here throughout the week between Christmas and New Years once I was off from work and, for as soon as in what appears like a century, had nothing to do. Usually, once I legitimately don’t have anything to do (uncommon), I am the primary one to fill it with journey plans or an out of doors tour or, on the very least, a stroll across the block with my canine. I am probably not good at enjoyable, most likely due to that aforementioned motto my mom had efficiently branded on my mind rising up. However after a very exhausting ultimate quarter of telling folks what to purchase on the web and masking vacation purchasing, I used to be past tapped and wished nothing extra to do than soften into my sofa for a minimum of every week straight.
Photograph: Bravo TV
Put. me. in. this. snowglobe!
So I did. I melted into my mother and father’ couch and binge-watched 2.5 seasons of The Actual Housewives of Salt Lake Metropolis, fully disassociating into the dramatic lives of the Mormon wealthy and well-known. For six days, I forgot all concerning the household drama that comes with the vacations, the emails I by no means answered earlier than break, the knee workout routines my bodily therapist assigned me to do earlier than our subsequent session (oops.) My greatest issues grew to become: How lengthy was Jen Shah’s pending wire fraud sentencing, why was everybody nonetheless being imply to Lisa, and what the heck actually occurred to Heather’s eye?! I had been blissfully swallowed by the Bravo void, and child attractive (IYKYK), I used to be by no means turning again.
I’ve now returned to work the place I am stressing about unanswered emails and drowning in product samples. To deal with all of it, I am watching extra RHOSLC. So whereas a lot of you’re resolving to offer your our bodies extra water or train or extra greens in 2023, I am giving my mind over to Andy Cohen. As a result of a lot to my mom’s chagrin, I do have higher issues to do with my time… however typically, slipping right into a Bravo-induced Ok-hole is simply far more enjoyable.